home      about david palmer      meeting planners      negotiations resources      workshops      influence resources      

Paradox of Influence

How can I influence someone to my point of view?

Use the Paradox of Influence

to appeal to their self interest.

Your ability to influence is in direct proportion to your willingness to be influenced.

Before you can influence other people, you must first convince them that they have influenced you.

To influence requires being influenced.

click here for a complete discussion of the underlying psychology

If you haven’t first established this paradox, people will not be truly open to what you want.  Instead, they will be thinking of reasons why your idea won’t work as you try to explain why it will. 

Agreement comes when people believe it’s in their best interests to agree.

There are three reasons why most of us are ineffective at influencing others.

1. We don’t invest the time.

2. We don’t know how.

3. We don’t truly think appealing to self-interest is necessary.